Greendog: The Beached Surfer Dude!

Hidden Beneath Layers of Regrettable 90’s Surfer Lingo, a Good Game is Found
by: Scott Thompson

And now, a list of words pulled directly from the back of Greendog’s box:

Shreds
Rips
Thrash
Beserk-o (yes, “berserk” is spelled wrong)
Killer
Cool Out
Shreddin’

I supply this small sample of vocabulary in order to best illustrate my hesitation in picking up this game. I would have a hard enough time hearing these words coming from an actual surfer; I nearly lost it when reading them scrawled across the box and manual. Why, then, did I decide to purchase Greendog: The Beached Surfer Dude? Well, I figured if the game was as bad as the box suggested, then I could write a funny, scathing article. Or, if by some chance the game was actually good, I could at least make fun of the box.

So, um… how about that box art? Yes, that’s right. Much to my surprise, Greendog is a good game with some original ideas to boot. Read on for proof.

The game has you playing as the titular hero who, after being “pounded by a massive wave”, wakes to find a strange pendant around his neck. Greendog must travel across 6 Caribbean islands in order to piece together the Surfboard of the Ancients which will then break the pendant’s curse.


Greendog hangin' ten in an Aztec crypt.

Each island is broken into two stages. The first stage is always different; Greendog will travel through jungles, across beaches, and even underwater in search of the entrance to the second stage, which is always an underground Aztec crypt. These second stages have two variations. In one, you will be navigating a maze-like level, culminating in a showdown with a randomly-generated boss. The second variation requires you to grab a skateboard or pair of Rollerblades (your choice) and “shred” your way through a treacherous course, jumping chasms and avoiding spikes. Finish the second stage and you are rewarded with a piece of that Surfboard before flying to the next island via a bonus level.

Level structure isn’t the only thing unique to Greendog, though. One aspect worth mentioning is the health system. Rather than having a life bar that decreases as damage is accrued or dying in one hit, the surfer has a damage threshold bar, starting empty and filling up as the various wildlife attacks him. Once the bar is completely filled, Greendog will drop his Frisbee. If you are hit in this state or don’t pick up your Frisbee fast enough, you will die. However, if you secure the disk, then your damage bar will decrease a bit, allowing you to continue forward in hopes of finding a can of soda to reduce your damage.


Surfing, skating, and an air bike? Greendog offers the full package.

That’s right: soda. It doesn’t stop there, either. There are no coins or rings in Greendog’s world, if you want points, you collect ice cream, pizza, and hot dogs; it seems the main cash crop in the tropics is junk food. It would be impossible to find a kids’ game today where the player is rewarded for gorging on all that trans-fat filled food. Apparently obesity and diabetes didn’t exist in 1992. Furthermore, this game may actually be responsible for these ailments, having taught a generation of children horrible eating habits. I have some Wikipedia articles to amend.

Of course, Greendog isn’t the only one making poor dietary choices, as his dog Fetch is prone to eating everything in sight as well. Fetch will show up in levels every now and then, stealing the food that enemies drop before you can pick it up. However, when he is around, some enemies will drop a bone. If you get it before Fetch, he will begin attacking any enemy you come across in an effort to be rewarded with the bone. However, should Fetch secure the bone himself, he will drop to the floor and begin gnawing on it, forcing you to move on without him. A truly unique take on the idea of a power up.


Greendog and Fetch chillin' at the beach.

I believed I was destined to hate Greendog, but it turned out to be an incredibly creative game. The final levels are controller-smashingly difficult, and the jumping is a bit floaty, but the reggae-inspired music, bright visuals, and overall charm of this game push it beyond all that. Anyone looking for a fresh take on old school platforming would be proud to have this in their collection.